Major Malfunction!

If you come upon a post and wonder why there's a weird black box with an exclamation mark in it, you may want to read this post to find out what has gone wrong. Still trying to figure out how to fix it all, without having to do each post manually. Until then, the black boxes remain. I thank you for your understanding. If you know someone that can help me, PLEASE send them my way!

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Day 7: Love Believes The Best

You probably thought I forgot all about this, right?

Well, no. I just took a really long time to actually do this one and then even longer to post about it.

But here it is. Finally.

The Dare:

For today's dare, get two sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with the negative things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and plan for each. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic.

The Questions:

Which list was easier to make? What did this reveal about your thoughts? What attribute did you thank your spouse for having?

My Thoughts:

Well, for some reason, I just didn't want to do this. I didn't want to write lists about my husband. So I took maybe five days or so to actually get to it. Once I did sit down to do the lists, I was not irritated or upset with Kyle, but I wasn't all roses and sunshine either. We just 'were'.

But both lists were about equally easy/difficult, however you want to look at it, to complete. The positives do outweigh the negative though, which I was happy to see.

Having to do this revealed to me that while I do have negative thoughts about my honey, he really is a great guy and I am thankful for him.

After I made the lists, it took me a couple more days to actually thank him. THAT revealed to me that it's really sad that I couldn't just go up to him and thank him for something that he's done or for a characteristic that he possesses. It's not 'natural' or 'easy' for me. I certainly need to work on thanking him more.

When I did thank him, it was in the morning when he was getting ready to leave for work. I hugged him and kissed him and told him thank you for all the hard work you do. He responded 'which hard work?' I told him the work that he does every day. Thank you. He was really surprised. He raised his eyebrows like, "hmmm, ok."

That evening when he got home from work, I had made dinner. While he's always been pretty good about thanking me for making dinner, he hasn't in awhile. He came up and gave me a kiss and said thanks for dinner.

And then last night, he said that when I finally get paid from unemployment (because I've been out of work for a month and haven't received ONE check yet!) that we should take a day trip. So that's telling me that he sees that we haven't been able to spend a lot of time together but he wants to take a day in the fairly near future to do just that.

I can see that these small changes I'm doing are slowly making little changes in him too. It's really nice to see.


  1. That is so great. Good job getting this dare done! ;-)

  2. That is such a challenge in a marriage. I forget to say thanks all the time to my husband. Thank you for reminding me that it matters:)

    (Thanks for following my blog!!!!)

  3. I've never heard of the Love Dare before today. I'm going to go read up about it later on.

    I totally get you when you say it isn't easy to thank him. I used to really struggle with this in my "first" marriage. I'm not saying that if I had been more generous with the thank yous things might have turned out differently, but it was definitely one of the things I vowed to be better at "next time." I think I am pretty good about thanking J and letting him know just how much he means to me.