Thursday, February 26, 2009
Day 6: Love is not Irritable
Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list below of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.
Where do you need to add margin to your life? When have you recently overreacted? What was your real motivation behind it? What decisions have you made today?
The day I first read this was on the 23rd. That's the day that Kyle had hurt my feelings, so because I was hurt, I had to really try at this one. When I first read it I was like "Ok great. This is just perfect. I'm totally pissed at him and hurt by him and now I have to act like I'm not? UGH!" It was all I could do to have a pleasant attitude. I was thankful that he had to go out to a customers house to have a contract signed because that meant that I had less time to spend with him that day.
Before Kyle left to go have paperwork signed (and I think it was before I read this dare), Kyle asked me if I wanted a quicky. I said NO. I don't. With tons of irritation in my voice. I know that the reason I responded the way I did was because I was so hurt from earlier. But you know what? I don't think he even has a clue, even today, three days later, that I was hurt at all. He thinks that he was being funny when he responded the way he did, but it really cut me to the core.
While he was gone, I prayed that I'd be able to have a change of heart and be able to do this dare the way that Jesus would want me to.
I know I'll have to have a discussion with him about it eventually, but it's one of those things that I have to "get up the guts" to do. We're not the type of couple that sits down to have serious discussions all that often.
So the past couple days have been fine, a lot better. I've "gotten over it" for now and I'm moving on. He got his "quicky" so that made him happy and now he's responding differently.
One thing that totally and completely shocked me, which is sad, but true, happened the other day. I had made chili (that's not the shocking part, lol). The next day Kyle and my cousin (his business partner) were home during lunch time to work on some bids and they finished off the chili. Without me asking him or saying anything, he washed the pot that I had made the chili in! When I realized what he had done, it made me smile and later on, when I saw him again, I thanked him for washing it. I think I surprised him by thanking him. It was really nice!
And going back to the Day 5 Dare, I think one of the things he would say annoys him is that I leave socks everywhere. I take them off and don't put them in the laundry, until I've got a pile of them to do. (And the thing that is really ironic about this is that HE leaves his clothes EVERYWHERE and the animals and I trip over them all the time. BUT that's besides the point.) So, I think since I know that is one of his answers, I'm going to do what I can to make sure I don't leave my socks laying around in every room.
As for THIS Dare, I'll continue to work on my responses to him, even when he IS irritating me.