Major Malfunction!

If you come upon a post and wonder why there's a weird black box with an exclamation mark in it, you may want to read this post to find out what has gone wrong. Still trying to figure out how to fix it all, without having to do each post manually. Until then, the black boxes remain. I thank you for your understanding. If you know someone that can help me, PLEASE send them my way!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Day 5: Love is Not Rude

The Dare:

Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.

The Questions:

What things did your spouse point out about you that need your attention? How did you handle hearing it? What do you plan to do to improve these areas?

My Thoughts:

If you saw my post before this one you'll know that this one was difficult for me.

This afternoon when Kyle called me, I said to him: "Here is a random question for you. Please just think about it and give me an answer later." He said "dumb" before I even asked him. So then I asked him the above question. He said "dumb". I said, "Please just think about. I need an answer."

That was the end of the conversation.

I got home a little bit ago and I asked him if he had a chance to think about it. He said no. Then he said, "Actually, what really irritates me is when you ask me a bunch of dumb questions." I just stared at him. Didn't say anything. He said, "Don't eye f*ck me." Which is a phrase he's been using a lot lately and which I can NOT stand! It was all I could do to not say anything or burst into tears.

So, I guess I'm just going to move on to Day 6 because I'm obviously not going to get an answer out of him. If God decides to work on his heart and have him answer me later, fine, but I'm just going to let this one go. He's really hurting my heart lately and I'm not really sure what to do about it.


  1. I'm praying for you! I have had something similar happen recently with my own husband, so I know how real the hurt is. Keep encouraged.

  2. Im going to start praying for you and Kyle.

    Im getting married soon, and I find your words refreshing because I know that you love your husband and I love seeing "real" love. like, I know that being married isnt like being on a romantic date forever. I need a reality check.

    real love is what you are doing. I want my love to be like yours.

  3. *Hugs* I admire you so much for letting that one go. That would not feel good! I know you will soon feel very blessed for this unconditional love that you're showing Kyle. *Hugs again*

  4. Sounds like you guys need to talk about the things that hurt your feelings. Any guy is going to think the question is dumb, but if he understands that it's importatnt to you, he'll reciprocate. Try approaching the subject when it's not at its peak time. For example, the eye comment he made, bring it up an hour or so later and just calmly say, "You know how you keep saying ____, well, it hurts my feelings." And let him respond. Try not to act angry about it and talk it out in civil manner. It may start an argument but hopefully the comment will cease regardless.

    Just my opinion... my husband and I are marriage counselors at our church. By no means do we have a perfect marriage, but I noticed when we were newlyweds that we just lived parallel lives under the same roof, and I found myself asking the same questions you are asking - What should I do about this? Why does he say this? - and I finally decided to fix it. I wanted to live in a marriage where we were 100% open with each other, and I didn't have to wonder why my husband said or did certain things.

    P.S. My husband makes fun of my obsession with The Bachelor, too. We have an understanding that we both have one show that is totally retarded, and we just let each other be retarded and watch it! :)

    Good luck, I'll keep checking for more updates!

  5. I am so sorry to hear his responses but I am praying for you!!! I know things can be hard but they can also get better!!!