Day 17: Love Promotes Intimacy

The Dare:

Determine to guard your mate's secrets (unless they are dangerous to them or to you) and to pray for them. Talk with your spouse, and resolve to demonstrate love in spite of these issues. Really listen to them when they share personal thoughts and struggles with you. Make them feel safe.

The Questions:

How much of an effort is it for you to hold back from saying something, critical or otherwise? What have you learned about your spouse today, simply from listening?

My Thoughts:

Kyle and I don't have any real secrets, but if we did, I would definitely feel safe sharing with him and him with me. We trust each other wholeheartedly. I have no doubt that we are each others comfort in good times and bad times and we can lean on each other for everything.

Day 16: Love Intercedes

I've obviously taken a LOT more than 40 days to do this Love Dare. I wish I hadn't, but that's just how it's been.

So, now I'm updating from Day 16 (and 17) and will hopefully be able to keep it going and flowing along till it's complete. But, it is summer, so we'll see how that goes.

If it's been awhile since I've updated, feel free to give me a little reminder and light a fire under my bum. I won't mind.

Moving on...

The Dare:

Begin praying today for your spouse's heart. Pray for three specific areas where you desire for God to work in your spouse's life and in your marriage.

The Questions:

Have you experienced the power of prayer in the past? What did you choose to pray about? Was it easy for you, or did it feel foreign to you?

My Thoughts:

I thought about keeping the areas I'm praying for private, but what the heck, I'll put them out there.

1. That Kyle would "lead" our family in a way that is pleasing to God.

Not that he doesn't, but there's always room for improvement.

2. That he would stop being so judgmental about people and their looks or background.

This one bothers me a lot. And I know a lot of it has to do with his upbringing.

3. That he would know God on a deeper level.

Both of us need to work on this. We don't pray together and I feel like there are times where just looking at us or being around us, you wouldn't know that we're Christians and that bothers me, too.

Hopefully in praying for these areas for Kyle, it will affect me too.

A Teaser

Sorry, this is just a teaser post to let you, the few people that actually read this blog, know that I'm sorry to have been neglecting this.

It's been a bit crazy and busy in these parts and I've sort of put The Love Dare on the back burner. But I'm determined to finish it so I'll be back to updating this soon.

Day 15: Love Is Honorable

The Dare:

Choose a way to show honor and respect to your spouse that is above your normal routine. It may be holding the door for her. It might be putting his clothes away for him. It may be the way you listen and speak in your communication. Show your mate that he or she is highly esteemed in your eyes.

The Questions:

How did you choose to show honor? What was the result? What are some other ways you could demonstrate honor in the coming days?

My Thoughts:

I have been making it a point to try to keep the house more tidy and picked up. It is not an easy task for me because, although I hate the clutter, I also hate cleaning. Call me lazy. It's just not something I've been cut out to do. So it's been difficult, but because I know that it makes us both happier to live in cleanliness, I've been trying.

I've also been putting Kyle's clothes away. Along with everything else that is a "chore", I also despise folding the clothes. BUT because I know it makes things easier to find for Kyle, I've been doing what I can to make sure his clothes are clean, folded and put away.

He hasn't really said anything, but I'm not really expecting him to.

Day 14: Love Takes Delight

The Dare:

Purposefully neglect an activity you would normally do so you can spend quality time with your spouse. Do something he or she would love to do or a project they'd really like to work on. Just be together.

The Questions:

What did you decide to give up? What did you do together? How did it go? What new thing did you learn (or relearn) about your spouse?

My Thoughts:

Well, as I mentioned before, this one has taken me awhile to do. But, I got to thinking about it and I think I've already done it without "purposefully" doing it. So does that mean I'm cheating? Depends on how you look at it, but I really don't think so.

So, what did we do?

We "got it on". LOL

There have been a couple instances recently when I would rather sit on the computer instead of having sex, but because Kyle wanted to, I did. And of course, it's always good to connect / reconnect that way.

{ahem}

And that's all I'm gonna say about that.

Moving on.

Day 15 coming soon.

I Haven't Forgotten

I know it seems like I go a long time between posts here. But this next dare isn't easy to figure out! So I'm thinking I may have to skip it and come back to it or something. In the mean time, I just wanted to let you know that I'm still here and will be back with an update soon.

OH! And I think Kyle found my Love Dare book! I want to ring his neck!

We have a computer armoir and in the cabinets above the computer, I stashed all my books. Well, Kyle decided to stash a binder thing in there and when I opened the cabinet the other day, I noticed that the book wasn't tucked into the other books like I had left it. I have it so that the spine faces the back wall of the armoir and it still was, but it was sticking out from the other books. Grrrr!!! SO, I'm not going to say anything to him about it because I still want to pretend that he doesn't know about it. BUT at the same time, I think it may have done something in his mind because he's acting a bit differently. Hmmmm.......this'll be interesting.

Day 13: Love Fights Fair

The Dare:

Talk with your spouse about establishing healthy rules of engagement. If your mate is not ready for this, then write out your own personal rules to "fight" by. Resolve to abide by them when the next disagreement occurs.

The Questions:

If your spouse participated with you, what was their response? What rules did you write for yourself?

My Thoughts:

• Don't bring up the past
• No name calling
• No "D" word ever to be used
• Speak calmly
• No unloving physical touch
• No fighting in public
• Resolve issue before going to bed

Kyle wasn't involved in making this list because I knew I would likely get a similar reaction as I did the last time I asked him to help me out with some questions.

We rarely fight. I can count on one hand the blow out fights we've had. We bicker and argue, but fighting is not a common occurrence with us, thankfully.

Hopefully one day we can have this discussion because it would certainly be a good one to have...for future reference.

Day 12: Love Let's The Other Win

The Dare:

Demonstrate love by willingly choosing to give into an area of disagreement between you and your spouse. Tell them you are putting their preference first.

The Questions:

What issue did you choose? What did giving in cost you? How will this help you in the future?

My Thoughts:

Since we're right in the middle of house projects this was a pretty simple way for me to find something to let Kyle win.

Our living room is painted a color called Saddle Tan or something like that. Our entry way and hallway are white.

Because Kyle painted the new banister a cream color, it blends into the wall and he doesn't like it. He's been asking me about painting the living room another color and then also the entry way and hallway the same color. But I like the color of our living room, plus I don't want to deal with paint splatter everywhere and taking things off the walls, etc.

So I told Kyle he could paint the entry way and hallway if it was the same color the living room currently is. He was surprised since I've been pretty adamant about leaving them white. He asked me if I thought it would be too dark, which I do, but I told him I can hope not.

It's not really that big of a deal for him to paint the hallway and entry way. I figure if it makes him happy then that's fine. It's just paint.

Day 11: Love Cherishes

The Dare:

What need does your spouse have that you could meet today? Can you run an errand? Give a back rub or foot massage? Is there housework you could help with? Choose a gesture that says, "I cherish you" and do it with a smile.

The Questions:

What did you choose to show that you cherish your mate? What did you learn from this experience?

My Thoughts:

Kyle some how hurt his shoulder. It's really bothering him and because we don't have insurance right now he hasn't been able to just jump in the car and go to the doctor. So I've given him a couple back / shoulder massages to help ease the pain a bit.

I don't give him massages often because 1) my arms are a lot weaker than they used to be so I tire more easily than I used to and 2) I'm a brat and think that because it's not going to {usually be} reciprocated that I don't need to.

I need to change my attitude though. He works hard, manual labor and I know that the massages help him to feel better. I know I don't like to be in pain and I know that he is most of the time.

One more thing to work on.

Day 10: Love Is Unconditional

The Dare:

Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse - something that proves (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else. Wash her car. Clean the kitchen. Buy his favorite dessert. Fold the laundry. Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage.

The Questions:

Has your love in the past been based on your spouse's attributes and behavior, or on your commitment? How can you continue to show love when it's not returned in a way you hoped for?

My Thoughts:

First of all, did you see this post on my primary blog?

If not, go check it out and then come back here.

Ok...so you saw what a feat it was to get that project done, right?

It's been a project that's needed to be completed for quite some time. Kyle has mentioned me getting it tackled multiple times, but like I said in that post, I don't want to be the only one taking care of the laundry. We both wear the clothes, we both need clean laundry but both of us to do not participate in keeping it up.

So, I've given up and just let it go.

But, I knew it needed to be taken care of. I mean, it's ridiculous that we have to go in that room every morning and dig through the mountain of clothes to find anything to wear. It's annoying and pathetic.

So, when I decided to tackle this project, I was doing it because it needed to be done. BUT I also did it because I knew that it would really mean a lot to Kyle. While it took me the entire day, plus some, to get it done I just kept on thinking of what his reaction was going to be. I could just picture the smile on his face.

When he got home and started walking towards our computer room (next door) I ran behind him and showed him what I had done. Then I showed him his pile of t-shirts. LOL He was definitely surprised and thankful that I had taken on this project. I can't remember if it was that night or a couple nights later, but he thanked me for "doing the clothes".

I told him that he was going to have to go through his clothes and figure out which ones to donate because he was not keeping all of them...two large garbage bags later...then he helped put all of his remaining clothes away.

It's been good for both of us. And at this moment, there is a basket of clean clothes that need to be folded but I have kept up with it for almost a week now. That's amazing, to say the least. lol

On another day, Kyle decided to take out a wall.

Yes, another project...but this one WILL be completed, along with a bunch of others that have been ignored for the past three years! He promises it will be totally complete in a month. Woohoo!

But back to this particular project.

He asked me to vacuum up the remnants of the drywall and I did so with very little complaint. The only thing I said to him was that it would be easier and make more sense to take the drop cloth and shake it off outside...which he said he was planning on doing...so why was I vacuuming it?

I stopped right then and just vacuumed the hardwood floor and carpet.

All this to say that I love my husband immensely.

I do things with and for him because my love for him is unconditional. Sometimes we may say things like the above cartoon, but in reality it's all in fun and just joking around.

I continue and will continue to do things for him. I make it a regular habit to bring him treats or get things for him that I know he'll enjoy.

It brings me happiness to see him happy.

Day 9: Love Makes Good Impressions

The Dare:

Think of a specific way you'd like to greet your spouse today. Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm. Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them.

The Questions:

When and where did you choose to do your special greeting? How will you change your greeting from this point on?

My Thoughts:

Once again, I've taken forever to complete this dare. Apparently one of my friends, and loyal readers, thinks I'm not updating this as often as she would like, in her words. LOL

So, I'm updating it now.

I think I'm kind of cheating on this one cuz I didn't run up to him and hang on him or anything like that. It's just not in me to do that or make it a regular thing. I've just greeted him with a smile and a kiss. I've also been giving him lots more attention and covering him in kisses and insisting on hugs. We kiss multiple times a day but the hugs, not so much. I love hugs so I've made sure to get more of those in.

I've noticed that our house is calmer. Not that it was uptight or anything before, but I'm having more positive reactions to things and / or situations and therefore, I think he is as well.

Day 8: Love Is Not Jealous

The Dare:

Determine to become your spouse's biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set your heat on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday's list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.

The Questions:

How hard was it to destroy the list? What are some positive experiences that you can celebrate in the life of your mate? How can you encourage them toward future success?

My Thoughts:

I didn't burn the list, but I shredded it to a million little pieces. I had no trouble doing so either. I didn't even look at the list again before completing the task because I didn't think I needed to review the negative feelings I had been having towards him. I love him and I want to work on all the positive feelings I have for him.

Kyle has been trying to get some packet type stuff together to give to clients with their bids. He's been asking me to do it, but really, I have had no idea what it was that he was wanting to include in it. Because I'm not the one actually out there doing the work and whatnot it has really just been frustrating for me to try to figure out what he's wanting. Especially because he didn't really know what it was he wanted to include either.

So, shortly after I read this dare, he came to me with some stuff he had put together. It was REALLY good and a LOT better than anything I would've been able to come up with. I'm sure it's because I've just been on the brink of tears lately, but reading what he wrote almost made me teary too. And it wasn't the words he wrote, because it's all about construction stuff. That's not mushy by any means. LOL But it was just that he had put so much time and effort into trying to make this the best he possibly could and the fact that it was REALLY AWESOME. I was {am} SO proud of him.

I told him right after I read it that it was REALLY GOOD and that he did a GREAT job. He just gave me the look that he normally does when I've complimented him. It's kind of a goofy look. There's not much expression to it. He just kind of gets wider eyes and lifts his eyebrows. But I can tell that it makes him feel good.

Over the next few days he continued to put together more for this packet and it's pretty impressive if I do say so myself. He's never done anything like this but they're trying to make clients see them more than two "kids" out there doing some work. They're trying to have a more polished, professional look. I'm just really proud of what he's doing. And while I haven't said those words to him, I know I will. But he knows I'm proud of him from the conversation we had above.

The other day while I was sitting here entering 300 something giveaways for The Secrets in the Sauce Spring Fling, Kyle decided to clean up this room. It's a disaster. I have my The Love Dare book hidden in a little cupboard on our desk. For whatever reason, he decided to OPEN it! Ahhh! I grabbed it out of his hands and SAT on it! LOL He kept asking me what it was and I said it's a secret. He said that we don't have secrets. I told him I knew that but that this was a good secret. He wanted to know what it was. I told him that he can't know right now. It was a humorous conversation. I kept saying to him "Just! Just! just! JUST!" As in JUST leave it alone and some day you will know, but NOT RIGHT NOW! I didn't know what else to say because I really don't want him to know about it. He'll question everything I'm doing and I don't want it to be weird. With him not knowing about it, I can do it on my own time without him wondering about my motives. I want to see what's going to happen in our marriage with me doing this and him not knowing about it.

I've noticed that he's reacting to me differently. He's saying thanks for dinner every night and being a bit more loving.

Day 7: Love Believes The Best

You probably thought I forgot all about this, right?

Well, no. I just took a really long time to actually do this one and then even longer to post about it.

But here it is. Finally.

The Dare:

For today's dare, get two sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with the negative things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and plan for each. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic.

The Questions:

Which list was easier to make? What did this reveal about your thoughts? What attribute did you thank your spouse for having?

My Thoughts:

Well, for some reason, I just didn't want to do this. I didn't want to write lists about my husband. So I took maybe five days or so to actually get to it. Once I did sit down to do the lists, I was not irritated or upset with Kyle, but I wasn't all roses and sunshine either. We just 'were'.

But both lists were about equally easy/difficult, however you want to look at it, to complete. The positives do outweigh the negative though, which I was happy to see.

Having to do this revealed to me that while I do have negative thoughts about my honey, he really is a great guy and I am thankful for him.

After I made the lists, it took me a couple more days to actually thank him. THAT revealed to me that it's really sad that I couldn't just go up to him and thank him for something that he's done or for a characteristic that he possesses. It's not 'natural' or 'easy' for me. I certainly need to work on thanking him more.

When I did thank him, it was in the morning when he was getting ready to leave for work. I hugged him and kissed him and told him thank you for all the hard work you do. He responded 'which hard work?' I told him the work that he does every day. Thank you. He was really surprised. He raised his eyebrows like, "hmmm, ok."

That evening when he got home from work, I had made dinner. While he's always been pretty good about thanking me for making dinner, he hasn't in awhile. He came up and gave me a kiss and said thanks for dinner.

And then last night, he said that when I finally get paid from unemployment (because I've been out of work for a month and haven't received ONE check yet!) that we should take a day trip. So that's telling me that he sees that we haven't been able to spend a lot of time together but he wants to take a day in the fairly near future to do just that.

I can see that these small changes I'm doing are slowly making little changes in him too. It's really nice to see.

Day 6: Love is not Irritable

The Dare:

Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list below of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.

The Questions:

Where do you need to add margin to your life? When have you recently overreacted? What was your real motivation behind it? What decisions have you made today?

My Thoughts:

The day I first read this was on the 23rd. That's the day that Kyle had hurt my feelings, so because I was hurt, I had to really try at this one. When I first read it I was like "Ok great. This is just perfect. I'm totally pissed at him and hurt by him and now I have to act like I'm not? UGH!" It was all I could do to have a pleasant attitude. I was thankful that he had to go out to a customers house to have a contract signed because that meant that I had less time to spend with him that day.

Before Kyle left to go have paperwork signed (and I think it was before I read this dare), Kyle asked me if I wanted a quicky. I said NO. I don't. With tons of irritation in my voice. I know that the reason I responded the way I did was because I was so hurt from earlier. But you know what? I don't think he even has a clue, even today, three days later, that I was hurt at all. He thinks that he was being funny when he responded the way he did, but it really cut me to the core.

While he was gone, I prayed that I'd be able to have a change of heart and be able to do this dare the way that Jesus would want me to.

I know I'll have to have a discussion with him about it eventually, but it's one of those things that I have to "get up the guts" to do. We're not the type of couple that sits down to have serious discussions all that often.

So the past couple days have been fine, a lot better. I've "gotten over it" for now and I'm moving on. He got his "quicky" so that made him happy and now he's responding differently.

One thing that totally and completely shocked me, which is sad, but true, happened the other day. I had made chili (that's not the shocking part, lol). The next day Kyle and my cousin (his business partner) were home during lunch time to work on some bids and they finished off the chili. Without me asking him or saying anything, he washed the pot that I had made the chili in! When I realized what he had done, it made me smile and later on, when I saw him again, I thanked him for washing it. I think I surprised him by thanking him. It was really nice!

And going back to the Day 5 Dare, I think one of the things he would say annoys him is that I leave socks everywhere. I take them off and don't put them in the laundry, until I've got a pile of them to do. (And the thing that is really ironic about this is that HE leaves his clothes EVERYWHERE and the animals and I trip over them all the time. BUT that's besides the point.) So, I think since I know that is one of his answers, I'm going to do what I can to make sure I don't leave my socks laying around in every room.

As for THIS Dare, I'll continue to work on my responses to him, even when he IS irritating me.

Day 5: Love is Not Rude

The Dare:

Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.

The Questions:

What things did your spouse point out about you that need your attention? How did you handle hearing it? What do you plan to do to improve these areas?

My Thoughts:

If you saw my post before this one you'll know that this one was difficult for me.

This afternoon when Kyle called me, I said to him: "Here is a random question for you. Please just think about it and give me an answer later." He said "dumb" before I even asked him. So then I asked him the above question. He said "dumb". I said, "Please just think about. I need an answer."

That was the end of the conversation.

I got home a little bit ago and I asked him if he had a chance to think about it. He said no. Then he said, "Actually, what really irritates me is when you ask me a bunch of dumb questions." I just stared at him. Didn't say anything. He said, "Don't eye f*ck me." Which is a phrase he's been using a lot lately and which I can NOT stand! It was all I could do to not say anything or burst into tears.

So, I guess I'm just going to move on to Day 6 because I'm obviously not going to get an answer out of him. If God decides to work on his heart and have him answer me later, fine, but I'm just going to let this one go. He's really hurting my heart lately and I'm not really sure what to do about it.

This One Has Been Hard For Me

This Day 5 Dare. I haven't done it yet. I'm supposed to ask Kyle which 3 things cause him to be uncomfortable or irritated with me.

First of all, this is a question that is so unusual for us that he would look at me like I've got 4 heads. Second of all, I haven't been able to find the "right" time to ask him. He's been working late, don't want to ask him when he gets home. He's busy in general, don't want to ask him when he doesn't even hear the question. He's irritable, definitely not a good time to ask him. I just can't find the "right" time. THAT is irritating ME!

Then, the past couple days I have not been feeling well. Kyle has not been wanting to spend time with me, except to jump in the sack, which I don't want to do (and haven't done, which is probably part of the reason why he's being a butthead). UGHHHH!! I'm really frustrated right now. And a bit hurt. I would love to just cuddle with him, but that NEVER happens.

Today I didn't wake up until 1pm. TOTALLY unusual for me, but I took some cough syrup with codeine last night and it totally knocked me out. So I got up at one and right away started getting ready to leave since it was my nephews joint birthday party today. At 1:30 Kyle asks me if I want to "do it". No. Can't you see I'm trying to get ready to leave? So I don't see him all day since he refused to go to the party.

After the party, my sister and her husband and kids, my cousin and her daughter and my sisters Mother-in-law go out to eat. I called Kyle before we left the restaurant and asked him if he wanted me to bring him home some dinner. Nice, right? So I get home, all is fine and dandy. He's watching tv and I come in to get on the computer. Just a few minutes ago, I go to give him a kiss and he's like a dead fish. Why can't he just frickin' give me a damn kiss?

F-R-U-S-T-R-A-T-E-D

Day 4: Love is Thoughtful

The Dare:

Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them.

The Questions:

What did you learn about yourself or your spouse by doing this today? How could this become a more natural, routine, and genuinely helpful part of your lifestyle?

My Thoughts:

I decided to do this for a couple days since the first day I didn't really get an opportunity. I had asked him if there was anything he needed while I was out, but he said no. So over the past couple days, whenever I've talked to him on the phone, I've asked him if there is anything he needed me to do or whatnot. The first couple times I asked he said no. Then I didn't have to ask him. He asked me yesterday if I could help him with a couple work things so I said yes, with no complaint at all. And the thing is, it's not entirely unusual for me to ask him these things, but usually I'll ask him begrudgingly. But when I've posed the question over the last couple days I'm doing it with a happy heart. I'm happy to do something for him. It makes me feel good to be needed. So I've sent a couple work emails for him and I've picked up some treats that he's requested and I've made dinner, when I didn't want to.

The picture that is at the top of Day 3, I took a similar one and put it as the background picture on the computer. It's the first time I've changed the picture in probably a good four years. Sad, huh? LOL He hasn't said anything about it, which I'm not surprised, but at the same time, I am a little. It's our wedding rings and I would think that he may be at least a little curious as to why I took the picture in the first place (and it was just for Day 3's post, lol).

I think because I've been holding my tongue a bit (and really, it hasn't been too hard lately since I haven't seen him *that* much, since he's been working late) he seems a bit calmer. He's pretty laid back as it is, but I don't know. The past couple days have been relaxed.

Day 3: Love is not Selfish

The Dare:

Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It's hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says, "I was thinking of you today."

The Question:

What did you choose to give your spouse? What happened when you gave it?

My Thoughts:

Today was a good day. Of course, we really only see each other in the evening because Kyle's working, but we talk on the phone throughout the day.

Our conversation was good. Nothing negative was said. There were a few times that I wanted to respond negatively to something he said, after he got home, but for the most part it was fine.

A couple of my cousins came over shortly after Kyle got home from work so the guys were in the computer room laughing and talking and whatnot. The guys left about the time The Bachelor came on. I watch this show religiously. Kyle knows this. He doesn't like most of the shows I watch so it's a good thing we have two tv's in our house otherwise there'd be a lot more fighting. lol

Kyle was making comments about the show while it was on. At first I didn't say anything. I was trying to ignore him. But I was also trying to watch my show. When he started talking over them with his own dialogue of what they were saying I raised my voice and asked him to PLEASE STOP. I had to repeat myself a few times and I was so irritated but I only said PLEASE STOP, nothing else. After a few minutes he went downstairs and all was right in the world again.

He sure does frustrate me when he does dumb stuff like that though. And because he doesn't like what I watch, it happens a lot! I don't say negative things about his shows so I've never been able to understand why he can't zip his lips when it comes to mine.

Because we are really tight on money, I couldn't justify spending a lot on something to let him know I was thinking of him. So on my way home from Target, I stopped and got him his mocha. He was already home when I got home so I went downstairs and gave it to him. He was getting ready to go in the crawl space (we've had some rats making a home down there. we've caught 4 so far. ugh!) so he asked me to put it in the kitchen till he was ready for it, but he was surprised and thankful and told me thanks and gave me a kiss. I also got him licorice while at Target, but he requested that so it probably doesn't count.

We're a work in progress. Aside from the show issue, it was a nice evening.

Day 2: Love is Kind

The Dare:

In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness. The Question: What discoveries about love did you make today? What specifically did you do in this dare? How did you show kindness?

The Question:

What discoveries about love did you make today? What specifically did you do in this dare? How did you show kindness?

My Thoughts:

Today was a bit more difficult than yesterday. I felt like I had to bite my tongue a lot. When he would say something that I would normally give a sarcastic response to, I felt like I couldn't say anything. And now I'm wondering how I can still respond to him without feeling like I'm doing everything for him. He keeps saying that because I'm not working that my "job" is to be his secretary. But even if I had been working, I would still be his "secretary". It's irritating and I feel like because I'm not responding to him, I'm going to be walked all over even more than I felt I was before I started this journey.

As my act of kindness towards him, I filled out all of his paperwork for his doctors appointments today and another that is coming up. I would normally leave it for him to do. Of course, there were things on the paperwork that I couldn't fill out so I did leave that for him, but I filled it all out to the best of my ability without saying anything, even though I really wanted to.

He also asked me if I was going to make dinner and instead of saying no or something else, I told him that it was a high probability and I did. Without complaining about having to feed his face. (I don't like being expected to do things. I'm much more willing when it's my idea. I should probably work on that. lol)

Love is not always easy. Because I love Kyle, I do things for him, even when I don't want to.

Day 1: Love is Patient

The Dare:

The first part of this dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the conditions on our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It's better to hold your tongue than to say something you'll regret.

The Question:

Did anything happen today to cause anger toward your mate? Were you tempted to think disapproving thoughts and to let them come out in words?

My Thoughts:

I worked all day so we didn't see each other very much. When I got home, I was really tired. I didn't have to cook dinner since Kyle had eaten leftovers so I made cupcakes. He thought I was crazy, but I know he was happy I did because he loves cake.

He's not been feeling well and he slept almost the whole day, which is good. He was watching some dumb action movie so I told him I was going to go downstairs and watch something else but he pulled me onto his lap to cuddle instead.

After awhile he started getting touchy / feely. Fine. Then he started getting gropey. I started to get irritated. I asked him to stop. I just wasn't in the mood to be touched and felt and groped. It went on for awhile and I didn't get angry or mad, but I did get irritated. I didn't say anything mean or hurtful, though.

I'm not good at being patient, which I know why this little dare was put in here. A lot of people are not patient. For the parts of the day that we saw each other, I think, for the most part, I had patience with my Honey.

Taking The Plunge

I've decided to be a part of this Love Dare.

Kyle and I have a good marriage. We just celebrated 7 years. Go us! There are always things that can be improved though and because I want us to last a lifetime, I'm willing to put forth the effort to do so.

There have been things that I wish were different. Things like us being more loving towards each other. Not that we're mean, but we both say and do things at times that I wish were more respectful of each other.

I know he loves me, but sometimes some of the things he says or does, hurts. I'm sure it's the same for him as well.

I'm hoping that by doing this 40 day dare that it will bring back some of the more loving and respectful feelings. It will be interesting because I'm pretty stubborn and stuck in my ways. I'm praying for an open mind and an open heart. I'm also wondering if he'll even notice if things are a bit different. He's not dumb by any stretch of the imagination but he's also not always very observant. I'm interested to see if the changes that are bound to happen in me, are noticed.

I just purchased the book today and I've only read the Forward so tomorrow, February 14th, Valentine's Day, will be Day 1 and I will read what I'm to do, first thing tomorrow morning. I'll likely make my first post about this on the 15th. Should be fun!

Let everyone that is doing this be blessed beyond measure!